I guess I don't have anything helpful here. I just want to talk, so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can manage.
I know that folks with ADHD have a higher tendency for drinking problems than those who don't. My husband (who has diagnosed but untreated ADHD) is definitely in that category. When we met, he didn't drink at all. He had some problems with drink, "soft" drugs and troublemaking in his teens and twenties. It was enough to scare him into turning his life around. After we got married, he started drinking. It wasn't anything crazy at first, but as the last few years have ticked on, he has become a binge drinker. The last couple of years have not been fun. Many sleepless, worried, angry nights for me, with him out drinking with his alcoholic friend. Tossing and turning, wondering if he is going to attempt to drive home drunk again. Many mornings that he expressed regret and was down on himself for days or weeks-- "I've got to nip this in the bud, this is getting out of control"--only for it to happen again a few weeks later. His mom is a recovered alcoholic, his brother is a practicing alcoholic. I think he is an alcoholic too. "Just" a beer drinker, but I never know exactly what's going to happen. Once he cracks that first one, he could have two or three and be done--or he could have 17 and spend the night on the bathroom floor, and it doesn't matter if it's a work night, or if he had some other responsibility. It's happening. Just because he is not nearly as bad as his brother, doesn't mean it's not a problem. Since the last "problem night", he has toned it down, for sure. We talked gently about ADHD and drinking, and his family background with it as well. He said his eyes were really opened now; but of course, that doesn't mean he stopped. I can't deny it's been better, but that doesn't mean it's been great. Now he's started to be a sneaky about it. He canceled plans we had this past weekend, on the pretense that he wasn't feeling well--only to decide he was all better and was going up north by himself, to prep for deer season. And yes, he did do that--but he also clearly drank like a fish. I feel like every time I'm not around now, he's like "whew, now I can drink!" It's an awful feeling. I know that he has started to drink a bit at home and try to hide it from me. I have a tendency toward anxiety and hypervigilance, so I'm certain this has only just started--not anything that's been going on a long time. He's not that crafty, and I definitely would have noticed.
Anyway, I am scared of where this could lead in the next few years. He has enough of a problem that he is sneaking now (I wonder how long he thinks he can keep that up?). Clearly this is nowhere near over. I hate this SO much.
I guess this is more about drinking than ADHD, sorry. I just know that a lot of people with ADHD turn to drinking and drugs, to cope.