ADHD and EQ (Emotional Intelligence/IQ)

My husband is very selfish, often misreads my actions/words, doesn't ever have empathy or sympathy for other people.  Put it this way...someone dies...he'll laugh.  He also is highly defensive and always looking to argue.  He likes it...I think he's comfortable being angry.  He's very disrespectful to me...not sure why I still stay.  Do people with ADHD have low Emotional IQ? 

He seems to have difficulty building depth and truth in relationships...he often thinks I'm the enemy.  I'm often told I'm weak, too sensitive...its always something and never calm and miscommunication is at the 90% level.  Even when we try to talk something out, he can't control himself from being angry, mean and blaming me.  No matter how nice I try to speak and all the apologies I utter (to the point I don't even know why I'm sorry)...there is no stepping outside himself. 

Is there something wrong with my emotions or is it him?  Someone keeps attacking you and its kind of hard not to believe whats said...I'm smarter then that but I can't help but question myself anymore.  I've taken EQ tests and have scored very ADHD people have lower EQ and are they able to improve on it?  Is there any hope for someone that grew up in a pretty unstable, emotionless, abusive environment to ever really feel?  Why does it take extremes to change and why do people with ADHD forget so soon about things that they may have improved on?  

Maybe I I'm searching for hope that it can get a little bit better.  I'm probably at the lowest point I've ever been...self esteem and confidence crushed.   I know the answers...why am I choosing to suffer and live this life?  I guess no one can answer that myself but I hope I figure it out soon.