I'm the spouse without ADHD and my husband does have ADHD. Our second child is now 6 months old and I am struggling with and engaged in therapy for postpartum anxiety and depression, but don't feel as though I have an outlet to speak to my husband about it. For example, I can be in a clearly non-functional state, curled up on the floor bawling, and my husband will try to comfort me, but get frustrated and leave because I am "ignoring him" or not responding in a manner he thinks I should. Or if I need to vent/talk through how incredibly overwhelmed I feel, I don't get any answer, comfort, or support. Instead I usually end up being the one apologizing in an attempt to re-open the lines of communication because his response is to be defensive or stonewall.
So I guess my question is how do you deal with an ADHD partner when you yourself are in crisis?