How much is rigid, inflexible thinking a part of your ADHD partner’s life?
Rigidity in ideas plus the quick-to-judgment reflex and an impatience/intolerance for thinking things through thoroughly... those are what I see here, and wow. This is one area that threatens to kill our relationship in more and more ways.
I’ve observed that rigidity causes the most trouble for him in the relating to others, rather than habits or perfectionism.
What about your ADHD partner? How does that rigidity affect your marriage? If you are divorced or separated, did rigidity in any way play a role in the demise of your relationship?