I have been married to my ADHD husband for 13 years (no kids thank god!). We met at work and although he had his quirks, he was (and is a brilliant guy). However thing have gotten bad in the last 6 years. He hyper analyzes everything, up to the point that it is difficult to make decisions. And he knows everything (so forget about therapy, coaching, etc). I read what others post here and I see my relationship with my husband. He was caring at first, not anymore. He has become really aggressive every time I said something that requires his attention. Things get so bad, that we drop all difficult issues and "pretend" we are ok. Lately he starts yelling and calling me names. When things calm down,sometimes he apologizes for it and becomes charming and caring, until the next argument. I feel I am walking on eggs all the time. Sometimes I think I am married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I wonder if he is manipulating me with his diagnosis of ADHD and controls this relationship how he wants (he has been diagnosed with ADHD).
I'm so sorry
Submitted by Eighpryl_AB on
I have no words of wisdom or great advice. But I understand your pain. Most of us can relate to having Jekyll and Hyde as a partner and feeling like we spend our lives walking on eggshells so as not to set them off. I don't know about your husband, but mine literally doesn't understand that his behavior is, to a neurotypical, outright manipulative. He just sees it as doing all he can to get what he wants, and if he succeeds, he is actually happy, and doesn't see that other people are left feeling angry and resentful in the wake of his "success".
My husband's way of apologizing used to be buying me stuff rather than ever admitting he did anything wrong. That way he could accuse me of being an ingrate if I didn't fall all over him and act as if nothing had happened, and make ME the bad guy.