ADHD, Anger or manipulation?

I have been married to my ADHD husband for 13 years (no kids thank god!).  We met at work and although he had his quirks, he was (and is a brilliant guy). However thing have gotten  bad in the last 6 years. He hyper analyzes everything, up to the point that it is difficult to make  decisions. And he knows everything (so forget about therapy, coaching, etc). I read what others post here and I see my relationship with my husband.  He was caring at first, not anymore. He has become really aggressive every time I said something that requires his attention. Things get so bad, that we drop all difficult issues and "pretend" we are ok. Lately he starts yelling and calling me names. When things calm down,sometimes he apologizes for it and becomes charming and caring, until the next argument.  I feel I am walking on eggs all the time. Sometimes I think  I am married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  I wonder if he is manipulating me with his diagnosis of ADHD and controls this relationship how he wants  (he has been diagnosed with ADHD).