I was wondering if I am overreacting or has anyone else encountered similar problem. Namely, it seems to me that my boyfriend is constantly acting as if being in the relationship with me would be a favor from his side. He tells me that we are mostly talking about my topics which are not super interesting for him, he has full right to consider talking to me a favor that he is doing me. I have occasionally tried to make him talk about his issues and topics as well, but he just tells me that I overreact (by overreacting he refers to me getting upset when he tells me about things such as- I do not have any money to pay rent or I am not sure if I have work next month). Hence he has decided that he cannot talk to me about his troubles so communication is a favor for me. Oh, and he thinks that I am not knowledgable enough to talk about politics, so discussing these interest with me is also pointless.
He also lets me know about his frequent annoyances at home and tells me how difficult it is to manage with me. Yesterday he mentioned how my habit of leaving the dirty cups (for one day) on the table is something which he has great deal of difficulty accepting but he has finally made his peace with it and he loves me despite this. I am not going to tell you that often times his love declarations are formed in the similar manner- I love you despite...... (fill the gap).
Whenever I go somewhere with him, he later tells me how he was unable to enjoy the experience, because I did something wrong. I either was too much in my own thoughts, I did not like the same things he did, I rushed off etc etc. He later complains about my behavior and tells me that I cannot do things together with other people.
Finally, he is very caring and giving me frequent massages for instance. I always thank him and he likes doing things for me, so he usually does not make a big deal about this. However, whenever we fight, he mentions how he is doing so much more in the relationship than me and how I am very self-absorbed. I feel that I cannot even challenge this because he is in fact doing more things. However, I also feel less and less excited about accepting any of his good deeds, because I feel that he is holding those against me.
I have tried to discuss this with him, but he has the opinion that it is only normal that he considers things that he does not like, but still does as favors for me. He tells me that I have issues with feeling that I owe to someone. I however feel that, his constant comments on how annoying I am and how much he does for me make it very difficult for me to sustain a normal powerbalance in the relationship.
Thanks in advance!