We won't be getting married, living together, or sharing finances, ever, so leave that out. I am almost 40, a professional, and I am not cut out for being a spouse. Decades of independence from a controlling father, decades of doing what I want and being happy, and a short marriage let me see that. Anyhow, I love my bf, he is my companion, but I only have one day off a week and I see making plans for me as controlling, whereas he sees it as romantic, spontaneous, loving, fun. Typical unmedicated ADHD. Acts before thinking. I am talking booking things that cost money. I might have worked late the night before and need sleep, or I have my period, or my schedule is changed and I won't really be off work, or I just made other plans for myself, like my hobbies or working out. I would NEVER EVER make plans for another person, ever, without asking.
I have in the past passive-aggresively said "No" to him. I am afraid if I tell him "No" then he will be crushed. But I cannot do this anymore to myself. It is making me want to put more time between us than there already is so he gets the hint. He does not listen to me. I already told him I cannot go to this event he planned for us and just this morning he texted me again and said "Let me know about Monday." WTF!!!!!!!!
I would not want to end an otherwise fun relationship because of this, but it is crossing my mind. Help.