Hello all. Well, I have spent a lot of time on this forum, read the book, and frankly, it has gotten me no where! lol! (Not the forum's fault by any means). After my souses' adhd diagnosis, and drug variety, we were left devastated. I think he believes that the adhd (and all that comes with it) is why we are "too different". The more research, the more drugs, the more people he met with adhd, the worse our relationship got. I was never "doing the right thing" or I was "always out to hurt him". There were serious rage/ anger issues that were unpredictable, frightening, and abusive. They began to happen more and more often. I felt like I was being treated as the "enemy" . I got so confused, didn't know which way was up or down, got depressed, and just felt completely lost. These didn't seem like normal adhd couple issues- we were beyond the chores, etc. I actually had to leave because it was so bad, and we are now no longer together.

I've done some research, and have found out that there are actually many similarities to adhd and boarderline personality disorder symptoms. Also found out:

It is not uncommon for children, teenagers and adults with borderline disorder who have some symptoms of ADHD to be misdiagnosed with only ADHD, and then receive customary treatment with stimulants such as methylphenidate or an amphetamine derivative.

If borderline disorder and ADHD co-occur, patients often do worse when treated for ADHD if they first receive a medication for the symptoms of ADHD. Under these circumstances, they may then demonstrate an increase in emotionality, aggressive impulsivity and even paranoid thinking.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) occurs in at least 25% of people with borderline disorder; 5 times more often than it does in the general population.

The more I researched bpd, the more all the pieces seem to fit together. The "black and white" thinking (considering me the enemy), the aggression and inexplicable explosions, the list goes on and on. I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience where aggressiveness has gotten worse with the adhd meds, and led thoughts in this direction. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated, because I am still very deeply in love with this person, care about the tremendously, and don't know what to do.

Thank you.

*Not sure this is posted in the right forum