"Is ADHD contagious?"

I know it isn't, but I've seen spouses of folks with ADHD ask that, and I can relate. I started a topic a while back about what to do when you can't rely on your spouse, and I'm surprised that it still gets comments. I would call this "What do you do when you can no longer rely on yourself?"

I feel pretty confident that I'm not getting senile, and I know I've never been Super Woman, able to stay on top of everything with ease and style (I'm envious of women who can do that). I know that insomnia, with which I've been struggling lately, can mess with your ability to cope. But even before the insomnia, I feel like I've started to drop more balls in the juggling act of life lately, and I am terribly frustrated with myself. I can't figure out why I'm having a more difficult time with things than I used to. Things fall through the cracks. I can't remember if it was a day my daughter had a dentist appointment first thing in the morning (my mom took her) or if it was a day she was home sick, but she was either late to school or not at school at all that day, and I forgot to notify the school. I never forget that! Anyhow, they called me to ask where she was, and I was terribly embarrassed. This past weekend, my daughter needed me to take her shopping for shoes for an event. On Saturday I told her to be ready to go shoe-shopping with me by a certain time so that we could fit it in before a commitment I had that evening. I ended up not taking her that day, because I planned my day poorly, trying to shove too much into too little time, and by the time I got home from running some errands, there wasn't enough time to take her shoe shopping and make it back home for my other commitment. Last night she asked me for money for a school event today. I was in the middle of doing something, and when I finished that up, I had forgotten about the money. This morning, as we were both getting ready for our days, I said, "Oh, I need to give you some money," but by the time I was finished getting dressed, I had forgotten again. I remembered during a work meeting this morning and ended up running the money over to the school, leaving it for her at the front desk. Now, she could have reminded me again, but I hate it when I have to nag my husband over and over for something... why should my daughter have to nag me?

Like I said, the juggling act has always been a challenge for me. I've always been afraid I would start dropping balls. Now I feel like things are falling apart the way I've feared, and I wonder when I will mess up on something more significant -- like picking my daughter up from school. I don't know why this has started happening to me now, but I hate it. I'm very unhappy with myself. I guess the good news is that it shows me how our ADHD spouses feel when they let us down (though a lot of the time I think my husband forgets things so entirely that, if I don't say something, he has no idea he let me down). I do think that if my husband had my back, if he were a reliable partner, I wouldn't have to worry so much about keeping all the balls in the air -- I'd have a fellow juggler who'd be sharing the work.

I don't know that I have much of a question here. I just needed to vent my frustration with my own self. I would be interested in knowing if others go through this, and if anyone has any survival tips. I know creating reminders is a good thing, but -- again maybe this helps me see what it's like to have ADHD -- I feel like I would need to remind myself to do EVERYTHING these days, because I don't know which ball I might drop next.