Well my husband and I had a long talk today, and i feel a little better knowing he left out a few "key" details as to everything that has happened. I believe my husband has ADHD, (He did as a child severely) and i believe he developed lying as a way to avoid "disappointing" others such as his parents etc. He admitted to me tonight that, he lies to me basically after he has done something impulsive with money because he doesn't want to disappoint me. He realizes he needs help for his behavior and is seeking help. He will be scheduling an appointment this week for a full evaluation, hopefully confirming adult adhd & providing him with behavioral counseling/meds to help his behavior. Does anyone elses husband habitually lie to avoid disappointing others?
Well it has been a very long time since I have last logged into this website. I've been dealing with personal issues of my own after the birth & post partum period after having my daughter. It seems dealing with all of this and my husband, I developed depression. I now feel MUCH better, now that I am on the correct medication, I am feeling back to my old self. Anyways, my husband has been in individual counseling for a while now, he was forthcoming about his history & having ADHD as a child. The Navy did not kick him out etc. We have also been in marital counseling for a while. It seems to be helping, but i have my days where I become extremely frustrated. He has done much better, recently set up his paycheck to go into my checking account. (He mostly has issues with impulses regarding money). He admits his faults etc, I finally put my foot down and told him this is what has to happen, in order to get our finances straight.
I have noticed one thing in particular, my husband seems to hate discussing things especially after one of his impulses. He feels attacked, and he will talk about the situation once and that's it. I feel he has a low self esteem, he says he hates disappointing people. He feels I criticize him a lot and it makes him feel guilty. This drives me crazy, but I am trying to learn. I told him I myself have faults, and I am not perfect, that i want to help etc. I just feel his ADD etc must not be that bad, he can hold down a job, he has been in the navy going on 8 years this Dec. He seems to "lie" to avoid confrontation, and likes to avoid conflict at all cost.
Side note: I myself have a wicked temper, so of course until now, that made things 10x worse.
Thoughts??? Sorry it has taken me so long for an update!!!