Mostly, my ADHD hubby is a great guy. Wonderful father, helps around the house, smart, funny, loving.
I have one major complaint. In two parts.
First, he accuses me of things I did not do or say. He will not allow me to explain, or accept any other possibility other than that I did, in fact, do or say those things whether I meant to or not. He is totally twisting my words; I have even gone back to other people participating in the conversation to see if I gave the impression he said I did and they did not read it that way at all. I get blamed for his impulsive distortions.
Second, he decides how something happened, decides what I think, decides what I feel, and will not accept any other possible version of the story from me.
I acknowledge that I am imperfect. I'm very mildly autistic and have multiple anxiety disorders and PTSD. I screw things up and distort things too. For years, I have accepted that these problems are entirely my fault and done everything I can to change them, to limited avail.
My therapist, who has talked with both of us, also says it is not entirely my fault.
It has reached the point that I would like to die in order to escape the conflict. We have four children and I have been a SAHM for 15 years. I have no family for support-- my parents are deceased, my grandmother is frail, and my extended family has huge issues with drug abuse and entitlement. For those reasons, and the fact that I love him and would only regret it later, and the fact that I take my vows seriously, and the fact that I do not wish to subject him, myself, or our children to divorce, divorce is not an option.
I have no desire to be right about everything, or get my way all the time, or win every argument. Life doesn't work that way. I just want him to acknowledge and consider my point of view with an open mind to the fact that I could be right sometimes, and consider that he is also human and capable of misconstruing things that were in no way an insult.