My husband and I are currently separated, but when he took me to the doctor a few days ago we had a series of good talks. He is looking for an ADHD coach, and he's finally, finally admitting the ADHD is affecting him more than he wanted to admit. He also told me he is scared he's going to find out he might be worse than his schizophrenic brother and bipolar mother. I think fear has driven several of his behaviors that he hasnt wanted to face.
He also told me he's known he has always had an emotional "block", to where he wont allow himself to physically express love and/or caring emotions. In his love relationships, he always waited for the woman to make ALL the advances, hugs, kisses, expressions of love and/or sex. He wont EVER be the first to initiate any touching. This seems strange to me. He KNOWS this isnt normal, but he didnt want to look at it. "What if I can't be different, and what if I'm unfixable?", he asked me.
This was the very first time he admitted that he KNEW he wasn't having "normal" exchanges in his love life. I wonder where this "block" thing came from. He said he always remembers being this way. But its made it hard for him to have relationships.