ADHD husband and poor memory

My husband has adhd. He does not take his medications. He constantly accuses me (and gets so frustrated/mad at me) of not telling him things that I definitely told him or claims something didn't happen that did. He says I have the bad memory. When I show him proof (emails with dates, screenshots, txts etc), he refuses to acknowledge  it and still ignores/avoids me. He sometimes says I live in my own reality I make up and he makes me question my sanity but I really do think it's HIM. I've been asking to go to therapy for two years now, or have him go, but he refuses. He won't take his meds either and doesn't want me medicating our son, who also has adhd.

Advice? I feel like if we can't get past this, it could end the marriage.