ADHD husband feeling overwhelmed

50 years old, just diagnosed less than a year ago. Financially stable, career stable, a little impulsive, but very internally hyperactive. Only been married a short time. I'm in my third ADHD and relationships book. 2 by Orlov. I've read all of them. She will not. It's a me problem, not an us problem. 

I'm tired of the backhanded or just out right derogatory comments. The, and I quote "Let me tell you why you're wrong. "

The rejection and withholding of affection. The gaslighting. The I'm never right she's never wrong. 

It's exhausting and I'm overwhelmed.