ADHD Husband feelings, wants & desires always first

Please tell me how to speak to DH and what words to use where he understands that he is not the only person with feelings?   I feel like I am loosing my mind.  I feel Emotionally abused and my abuser is making himself out to be the victim.  HOW do you respond in a way that ADHD hyper Husband can understand???????  DH demands daily sex, with holds money, shares no details of our finaince, we have had to declare bankrupsy, he gambled,  he has refused to make house payment or car payment, any day now I expect people come foreclose.  We had big fight last night, I suffer PTSD, he choose to excalate and push buttons, so I am screaming.  He comes home for lunch ask what do you want to do tonight???  I told him our daughter wanted to go to sparks but I did not have enough gas in car to take her there & back & to school tom.  He wants me to beg him for money, so he can act like he has done this grand gesture, that I would owe him for.......He makes it very clear that HIS feelings are only ones he concerned about and he wants a medal & reward for behaving as a responsible adult.   I don't get it.  I just told him to leave and that I would not have conversation with him without professional in room with us.  Hes convienced he is the abused victim, but he is the one that if I do not meet his demands of sex everyday, is hatefull and says that I am disobedient wife and abusing him.  I have absolutly know idea how to talk to DH God gave me and it is destroying me emotionaly and physicaly.........