Submitted by templedeer on 07/27/2018.
My ADHD husband nags me. I do not have ADHD. He constantly repeats things, but that’s not always a problem although it’s annoying.
When I do something, then it’s a huge deal and instantaneous, before I can even explain to him what’s going on he’s already criticizing.
He acknowledges that he has to learn to “put on the emotional brakes”, but it drives me crazy. He can’t or won’t let me have time to myself to regroup if I get angry either, so it leads to me feeling like he’s poking the bear with a stick 100 times, then I get angrier and I eventually lose my temper.
Where do we start? He thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist and get medication.
How is my post?
Submitted by templedeer on
should I elaborate ?
Barkley lecture on Deficient Emotional Self Regulation
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
See Barkley lecture on Deficient Emotional Self Regulation:
http://adhdlectures.com/lecture-view.php?LectureID=16
Here’s a link for you, Templedeer
Submitted by Brindle on
https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/getting-started-managing-adhd
It’s an article here on this website about how to get started on treating his ADHD issues.
After you read the advice there, if you have more questions, we are here for you. I hope that you find a path forward!
Repeating our selves....
Submitted by c ur self on
This usually happens because the person doing the repeating is under stress (maybe his own making, but stress anyway)....Most conversations attempted under stressful situations will always fail...(produce anger, stress and anxiety)....You can't communicate that way....I suggest you stop talking to your husband when he is wound up or if you are....Would you gamble your money if you knew you only had a 3% chance of winning?? Would he??...That is what we are doing w/our emotions and our marriages, when we are so unwise to press each other....
Set your husband down in a calm moment at the kitchen table (no distractions) and tell him...."The content doesn't matter as much as that we both are kind and we get the end our conversation completely relaxed....(use things for practice like planning a couple of meals, etc)....When you both realize how easy it can be (when you give each other what you need for success) to communicate....You will learn to take those room to room shouting matches to the table....Good communication has to start with mutual respect.....Anything else is just chaos and and leads to emotional abuse....He is bullying you in your example....You should not respond if he push it and want work with you.....If he gets tired of spending his evenings alone....He will set down and listen:)
Blessings
c