ADHD husband obsesses with expensive youth sports but unemployed and house projects piled up

I am at my wits end.  My ADHD husband spends so much  time on youth hockey for our kids that is has impacted the ability for our family to function in a productive manner.   This has been going on for  almost 25 years.  First, we cannot afford it as he has been in and out if work since we married 20 yeArs ago.   Second, he refuses to pull our kids out of hockey even though it has push us deeper into debt.  Third, i really think it has impacted his ability to keep the jobs he has had since he spends so much time researching youth hockey stats, determining the next teams our kids,  going to tournaments, games, etc.   Fourth,  he insists on doing his own house and car work to save money but ca rarely finish a project because of hockey or he is recovering from hockey games/ tournaments.   Fifth, i cant talk to him about any of it anymore.   He will blow up.   For example,  i was trying to confirm Easter dinner with family and he said he had to check the schedule for hockey stuff.  This is Easter... A high priority for me.   And, he blew up because i said Easter with family should be a priority.   He has convinced 2 of our kids that they shoukd try for the NHL.  Most parents set a more realistic expectation for their kids with goal of youth sports being to have fun, learn teamwork, etc.   He is very critical of the kids and expects perfection every game but yet he has so many bad habits/traits ..eating junk food, playing vudeo games,  spending more than he can afford, running late,  in and out of jobs, piles of stuff arounf house for years,  judgemental, angry outbursts, overreacts,  very defensive, always watching shows online, not finsihing projects,etc.   He kills me that a lot of his angry out bursts and criticalness has hurt our kids self esteem and confidence.    I have asked him to start medication and he has tried off and on.   He doesnt trust specislists/ doctors so doesnt like to see someone to talk to.   His dad died when he was 10 so i think he missed out on some key development when he was young. So, i see him acting like a kid much of the time... Doing fun stuff.   He is very smart but cant apply himself in disciplined manner to non exciting things like work, house projects, planning, finances, maintenance.   I work full time, do the finances,  handle kids other stuff like doctor appts, school requirements, etc.   Because of his obsessiveness with hockey for kids i find i cant always enjoy watching the kids because i know we cant afford it and it keeps us from doing anything else as a family.  I dont know how to handle it.  He suffers from depression because he knows he is not able to reach his potential but the challenges have forced depression on me.