ADHD husband trying hard but wife is not seeing improvements

Hello all first post  I have battled dysthymia and depression for most my life. I'm 40. Almost 4 years ago the wife and went to marriage counciling.  We were 6 years into it. We havery two great kids. But I hated work and symptoms of ADHD were becoming apparent. Forgetfulness not following though etc.  

We agreed to see a marriage councilor. It was helpful but I was the one with the problems. Ultimately I had a full psych eval done. Depression anxiety and ADHD. Plus I am smart. ( always a silver lining)

I have been on meds for 2 years adderal vyvanse and citlopram. I just got on lorazopram for anxiety

I used to yell at my kids and turned it around.  I had a demanding job as a manager did well got thrown under the bus since I didn't drink the cool aid and have been looking since April. 

I am networking applying to jobs and following up. But the wife doesn't think I am doing enough.  my contention is I need a job that is a good fit and put an end to the 18- 24 month job runs I can do well but mastering in a matter of months. 

She has lost faith in me, doesn't trust me, doesn't think I am looking hard enough. She is working full time, so I run the house, shepard three kids (7,4,16months) to school and daycare.  In efforts to save money ( buying impulsivity was a big problem) I am now working on my own car repairing things best I can


Communication for her is focused on the kids. I feel like an after thought. For most ADHD types " how was your day?" Topic lasts 90seconds.  She is an introvert but can talk to friends all night. I am quite the talker of many subjects. But when I try to talk about her feelings and dreams its either short, vauge or edges toward a fight. 


I am the one scheduling appointments and suggested the seminar. She is busy and barely has time to discuss short articles about ADHD. Howncoiuld wemplow though the seminar?


Yes a bit of a vent session but honest view points are welcome.