ADHD Husband, wanting his non-adhd spouse back

Hello all,

I am new to this forum.  I've found this site on the Google search "ADHD Marriage".  I have ADHD.  I left my wife for no reason in Dec. '21 from the nasty argument in Nov. '21 which was my fault for forgetting her one year anniversary as business owner, and I left me because I was running away from myself.   Blame the Impulsive and rapid decision which I never think twice before I do anything stupid.    We have been married for almost 3 years.  We were separated for almost a year (COVID PANDEMIC - May 2020 to April 2020), and I moved back in with her.    My wife did not want me to get the truck which I did it without communicating with her first before I make any impulsive decision.  I wish it never happened, and now i know why she has been unhappy with me.   

Before we got married, I was all hyper-focused on her, doing many things with her, and enjoying every moments with her.  We shared so much together.  Until we got married, I akind of changed.  Now, I want my old self back when i was hyper-focused on my wife. 

I always thought I have attention issues when it come to communicating with my wife, listening to her needs, and ignoring what she wants.  Turned out, She pointed out to me that I have impulsive and not communicating openly with her.  I would hold back myself then blow up at her.  She would be yelling at me in anger, calling me names, and nasty words because she was telling me she felt that she was not being heard by me or not communicating with her openly.   The whole times, I kept thinking, "What's wrong with my wife?!  Why is she always angry at me?  Why is she not being nice to me?".    She wanted to have quality time with me when she's not working like breakfast date or lunch date or quality time every night. I simply ignored that and said, I am too busy with work.  Not very proud of myself, and I would've take a break from work to focus on us.    Could the ADDERALL XR be the problem that cause my major mood swings not caring how she is feeling?  What is bothering her?  Ignoring her needs?  I regret it myself so much for sending her negative emails like what she did wrong and hurting her.  I wish i never done that, and I saw that it is part of ADHD traits.    

After talking to her the other night, it hit me real hard, and I realized so much and I need to make a big change for my marriage with my wife.  I left her twice, and now I am fighting tooth and nail to save my marriage, and getting my wife back.    I do want a family with my wife, and she is afraid that I may leave her again.  

Any tips would help me to make big change for myself to save my marriage.

Thank you!