ADHD husband was cheating..

So i may have contracted an STD from my spouse,.If my name was not anonymous i probably would not have been able to say this...Thought it was nothing until i took antibiotics got cured,slept with him again and got it back...Took blood test for certainty results pending till Friday..Now,what do i really do from here..Family upset,mother would not talk to me,my uncle is worried...everyone around me is soo bloody upset.I confronted him yesterday about after spending the weekend by him, i got back sick.He said that i skip the antibiotics did not follow rules and that is why i got back sick..Not true...I did exactly what was i was to do..After revealing to him that i am going to the doctors for a proper check up,he got mad,cursed me,chased me out his place,had me drop off his apartment keys and told me to take all my belongings, well,i was going to any way...Started sending me threatening massages on my phone yesterday all day saying he would spread my name around of the STD i might have..stupid!!!! he was my only partner for 3 yrs now,never had another so it came from him,he is getting all angry and mad because clearly he did cheated on me and using a defense mechanism to take that guilt away..

Anyway,for me that's it! for him he has made me lose a day work today after posing constant threats and  trying to scare me away,witched worked..I am fragile and weak,i cant take worries and problems,hate court and police even though they had to come by me at 2 am this morning after he text message me saying he is coming by me at 2 to leave a nasty surprise in front my gate...A restraining order is next if he continues,just want to dwell along peaceful paths in my life..Can't handle drama..My mother is totally upset,says that i ruined her night of sleep when the police came,says that i am hampering my kids sleep when in fact i am trying to protect them..Hopefully she would get pass this just as i intend to do..Don't think that i give a damn ass now what she thinks,not her death but mines..I am a cafe owner of a breakfast outlet and she says my reputation would be down the tubes if people get to know of my STD..Sad woman yes!!! how would anyone know!!!!..

Cheating was never in my mind at no given point with DH,never knew he would be sooo stupid as to not use protected cheated sex out there.Now he ends up me hurt and him alone...I tried to tell him yesterday that this is a personal problem we both have and we both need to get treated,takes 5 days with antibiotics to get cured,but,it can go undetected for some time if not treated on time after a few symtoms..One person getting cured the other who is not can pass it back and forth,then it makes no sense..He never gave me a voice and he over powered me with his anger outrage..Now he has this sickness out there and might be passing it around..god speed o him and his new partners,because i am getting better soon and staying that way...

lovehurts...

the Genetic Boy-No Man+ his reaction + his threats

This sorry little boy and the Little Infected Tramp should be the ones worried here my dear. His ADD/ADHD had nothing to do with his stupidity and lack of " balls" has now caught up with the boy so he decides to turn it all on you threaten you etc. " and play Dr." As we all can see that he is just the right candidate that medical school would want and the boy is so smart that even he "Dr.little pe-pe" Caint remember to use safe sex when he is cheating. 

Girl I will and want to tell you a few things - 

1- I do not know where you are located or even if your in the States. If you are I would be willing to spend the time at No Charge and show you that this is not his first,second, or even third time doing this to you and your kids and family. I love nothing more than doing my job when I have an arrogant , little boy threatening his wife , kids and family. 

I will give you every piece of information I can dig up on him and if you are in the states " every state a little different" I will then direct you to your attorney so that during the procedings you can and should die to whatever disease he has given you go after this man after the divorce civilly and sue him for earnings , pain and suffering treatments etc etc etc until this looser is not able to work ever again.

the state I am in we have had thousands of these cases " horrible" 95-99.9% are of the boy gender and 100% there has not been one that has had less than full Custody and pretty much cleaned there clocks on the divorce proceedings but every one of them won the civil case . 

I hope and pray for you and your kids. I have had ADD , I have been depressed, bi-polar and never would do anything like that to my wife or my kids. I know I am my wife's biggest pain in the rear and I forget alot,I just fogey things she wants me to do , or dates etc. never would I act or do what this boy did and like I said I hope he isn't blaming it on the condition. I gave you a little picture of my issues but I get up have stayed married 20 years got two blessings from God and have had my own company since well I started at 11. 

Is it hard everyday YES, but I am scatterbrained every day I get upset with myself at the many things I need to do , way overwhelmed but I have the greatest 3 blessings From God and I fight through everyday for them. 

Im sorry that I took your story deep into my heart but sometimes the stuff I see and these little boys who think they are Men deserve to get what they have comming when they decide to do this. 

I will pray for you and your family , I will pray for this so called man and whomever passed this disease along. 

As I stated if you need help I would be willing to help in any way or give you what insight I have that might could help. Just respond if you need help and if not that's ok too. You all will be in our prayers and hope things get much much better for you! Hang in there

Ken

Thanks Ken,

Thank you soo much Ken for your concern I really do appreciate it.The thing is i don't live any part of the states,i am from the beautiful Caribbean islands so i would definitely can't meet up with you for help.Everything you have said really made me think again and again,my spouse sent me text messages today saying that he went and got tested and it came back negative today,mines coming in tomorrow and he know this,he's of course lying,he never got tested and then saying he is going far away for the weekend to clear his head,clearly i can see he is running from all the things that is back firing on him.Nver even knew if mines would be positive but his reactions to me getting the medical attention i needed just said a lot of what he might have really done cheating wise.

I am not surprise by his cheating or the STD,i just never knew that he would land up getting us both sick when i trusted him to be my one and only partner so i DON'T contract this same thing somewhere else.What i thought would be a long term commitment ended up almost life threatening.I am very much hurt and lost right now,can't really focus much on anything but trying to fight him off of me.Even if my test comes in negative tomorrow how can i go back to him after all his reactions to this whole situation just told me what a nasty little cheating monster he is.Atleast wear a condom my saying if not controllable.He blames this on me not living with him during the week and only resorting to weekends.I have a friend that lives in Canada and her husband is one of my best friends and they have been married for 2 yrs and she would come down on holidays to be with him.I never saw him cheat once behind her back and i go where he owns a lil bar just down my street.My spouse is very highly sexually active but i thought that was just for me until i know now what's up with that.

I am almost 34 this month and i really did not want to go back to looking all over again for a partner to spend my life with.I have no choice now but to try all over again,hopefully i would not have to put out as much in my next relationship and i don't have to worry about my needs getting fulfilled as well..Please continue to keep in touch with your insights,and i'll be here to keep an update.Thank you..

lovehurts.

god was on my side this time!!!

Test came back negative,even though when i thought it was positive from all the positive symptoms i was getting. During the waiting room at my doctor's office i broke down in tears thinking i have this nasty STD called Chlamydia.Thank god!!!! doc says no traces of me having it now or ever having it..Tested negative for all STD's.After all this great news i have gotten,what to do with the man that acted so badly with no support,no help,no NOTHING!.On top of his threats,nasty chasing me out,cursing me,terrorizing my sleep/kids sleep last Tuesday after having calling the police then he stopped with his nasty threats.The whole thing about this whole situation is that i never even told him that he gave me an STD,all i said is that i am doing to the doctors to have it checked out,then all that nasty chasing and threats.

Well nevertheless,according to Ken,the little boy actions sold him out...test may have come back negative,but god revealed to me that he cheated,and some might disagree with me here,but no way boy not after he acted like that.

lovehurts.

Playing Devils Advocate

Hang on a minute, I am going to play devil’s advocate here, because I am not sure you are thinking completely straight.    

So you accused him of giving you an STD AND you told your family this, or at least that you thought you had an STD.  Well they are going join the dots right?  Thinking one or the other of you have been getting around, hence the stigma and embarrassment.   

I would die of shame if my inlaws thought I had done this to their daughter.

So from his perspective, you tell him you have an STD and that you think he gave it to you, well maybe he thinks to himself “Hey am pretty sure I don’t have an STD so if she has one how did she get it??”   Well that is going to surely fire things up.

You are saying you don’t know for certain that he cheated????  As in no hard proof?    So perhaps there is a slim possibility he didn’t cheat??  OR if he did cheat then he used protection?    You see, the best course of events would have been to wait for the test results before telling or accusing anyone, all of this crazy stress could have been avoided.

If I was accused of giving my partner an STD I would go off my brain as well,  I am pretty well certain I would not react the way your guy did, and I am not making excuses for  him,  but that is a whole lot of accusation to lay at his feet, and he is likely to be more pissed now than ever. 

Hi Jon,

No Jon no one never accused him..I never embarrassed him in front his in laws.I told him I am still getting the burning in my urine and i am going to the doctors to have it checked out.My Mother over heard my conversation.My house is very enclosed and really i have no privacy,then my uncle found out after because i needed him to help me with a car park for the night after my DH,passed threatening remarks and said he would burn down my car.He jumped to the conclusion that i am accusing him not me,i was looking for him to accompany me to the doctors.If my test came back positive you would have never came on my thread and think i did something soooo wrong as to question my burning urine,never before has this happened to me and i was in a serious relationship with someone for 8 yrs before my hubby.

2 years ago on the day of my birthday i came home and found a naked woman in my husband's apartment,I am pretty sure he have been cheating before and still is..I gave him another chance of us trying again and again.The feelings I have for him was very strong but as time goes by i am starting to care less after all the drama and pain.I suspect bi-polar also in my husbands family history of it as well besides ADHD..So i don't get it!!!! you don't get it,there is only so much i can write and there is a very legitimate reason for me to post up these threads and it's not pity I'm looking for but rather an insight of any one in similar circumstances,every time we fight he meets up with a woman i don't know who she is,i have proof from a text message i found on his phone but never said anything because i just did a surgery and waiting to get healed don't want to add any more stress right now..

You see Jon,i have been with this man for 3 years and every one is very different right? He is far from the normal world that i came from,the same woman i met him with on my birthday was someone i knew and also everyone knew,also i was at my dads and he thought i was out with another man when he said that's why he had her there...Now,you tell me if that sounds normal.???

I thank you for coming and giving your own views and opinions but does it really matter if my mother found out about the STD,she would not even talk to him after he give my a bloody hand a few months ago by scrapeing me hard..So my situation is far from normal..

lovehurts.

Jon

Take a look at ken's response to me,'''the genetic boy-no man-his actions-plus his threats''''...now that's what it came down too....

lovehurts.

Lovehurts

Lovehurts,
I am not in any way justifying his behavior, and nor am I judging, if it sounded like that, my apologies. As I said I was playing devil’s advocate. i.e.  Expressing a view to question your reasoning.   Also you are right; I don't know the back history.     Simply, that the way this played out was always going to be ugly, though it sounds like most of it is pretty ugly.      I don't know why u are living in such a situation, though I can see that this would make things very difficult.   To be honest, although in my experience normal relationships are myth, the one you are in and the circumstances you have described sounds impossible.  
If he is a serial cheater and you are not OK with that, get rid of him.   He is not going to change.
If he threatens you, get rid of him.  This is NEVER acceptable. 
If he has physically or emotionally abused you, get rid of him, this is WRONG.  
None of this really has much to do with ADHD,  it sounds more like the guy is just a fool who doesn’t appreciate what he has and that you deserve a better life than he is willing to provide.   Things will only get worse if you delay.   I am sorry things are so tough for you. 

Thanks Jon,

I don't intend to delay much further,i am living in a cloud and i can't see my way,i guess that i do love him more than i thought and sometimes i feel so alone even if i am with him too.I had an operation done and i saw no compassion in him,no help financially nothing,not a concern and i guess it's because he is pretty upset about that last argument concerning my doctors check up for the STD.I always wonder if it was to come in positive, this whole thing could have turn out to be,how much more ugly can this get.His behavior towards this whole situation has really blown out of line.

I am getting out soon,the abuse has to stop now...

lovehurts...