I got pregnant in August and for five days I was excited. Then I started bleeding a little bit…every…single…day. I would call the doctor’s office who was so overly dismissive but also gave me a fairly routine response that if it becomes a lot, go to the ER, but otherwise, “some bleeding” can be normal and there’s nothing we can do about it if it isn’t so you have to wait it out. It made for an awful many weeks. My husband was all excited about the pregnancy and we had to tell his parents at 6 wees bc they came in town and I am not the type to get away with no drinking wine all weekend. So we just told them. Him and his mom were very excited and overplanning – kind of strong-armed me into letting her tell his fam ASAp, had her aunt schedule the baby shower, and any time i had reservations his mom would say everything will be fine “miscarriages are rare” (no they arent – shes had two!) and my husband would say I was being negative for bringing up the possibility of miscarriage every day. Well, they say 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage…or if you have some bleeding – 50%. I had not SOME bleeding but DAILY, for 56 straight days, so excuse me for leaning toward feeling not confident about all this. Basically i was made to be negative nelly by him and his mom by being anxiety ridden and worried and voicing my fears of miscarriage daily. at the 9 week ultrasound the heartbeat was fine, but the baby didnt move and it was 2.5 weeks behind in growth. Again he marched on insisting “heartbeat was strong, everything is fine stop being negative.” So then I have a miscarriage at 14 weeks at the end of October…came as no surprise to me. My husband even told his guy friend who is maried to my best friend that he felt “blindsided” by the miscarriage. This guy friend knew all about the history and about my telling him all the time about the fears of miscarrying with the issues i was having and he was like, SHOCKED like “blindsided? REALLY?!?” Fast forward to now and I am 8 weeks pregnant again. This time my symptoms im supposed to have (nausea and hwat have you) are much stronger and no bleeding. In other words, I feel like im on the “80% of pregnancies DONT miscarry” side of trhe equation this time. Yet, we dont have our first appointment until April 5th so until i know more, im cautiously optimistic. We havent been talking about this pregnancy – planning anything – hes much more reserved and i am too, even though i feel way better about it than the last one. Then his parents came in town this weekend and he begins telling them and my brother in law with the words “Now that I have everyone here, I want to make an announcement. As you know, last year we tried to have a baby and that did not work out…” I coudnt handle his ceremonious awkward announcement that started off for SOME reason by rehashing the miscarriage so i blurt out “im pregnant!” and his parents are like “yay!” and he just kind of gets annoyed and is like WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO TELL THEM AND THEN STEAL MY THUNDER?” so i just sort of ignored him. Then last night i say “i hope everything goes well April 5th!” (first ultrasound) and ive said that a couple times htis past week as that first appointment nears. He AGAIN tells me (like last time) that I am being “negative”. “Why have i heard nothing about the pregnancy but that you MIGHT miscarry again.” To which i say, i feel good, like im on the 80% side but until i have all the information i will respect the 20% possibility and be cautious. That’s not being negative. He pushes me again, again calling it negative, so i bring up Friday nights announcement and say, “the only person being negative is the person who cant bring up happy news without rehashing the miscarriage.” He then responds back trying to make me out to be the bad guy for interrupting him and saying it. I explained that i can talk about the miscarriage in private to close women or his mom but no, bringing it up in a room of his family members isnt appropriate and not necessary to announce the news…like, he couldnt just say “sorry that was wrong” he has to turn it on me, like im the wrong one. Also, i wasnt going ot bring it back up again except that im again being accused of being negative when i am just beign realistically hopeful about the next ultrasound. I am not sure why he has to be so dense and make everything so complicated. I lean strongly on the facts I know and the scientifically proven statistics associated with those facts and likelehood of miscarriage- and I react to a pregnancy accordingly. That doesn’t make me “negative.” It’s like he wants me to act like everthing’s certain and perfect and great and punishes me for reminding him of reality, but then he can bring up reality in the most awkward, unnecessary way possible and it’s not wrong.