So I met up with my exBFw/ADHD this past weekend after not seeing him for four months (there was an occasional text but nothing meaningful). Truthfully it was a nice meeting and we were both able to see some changes in each other. Now I have known that he was spending time with his best friends ex wife and i knew it was probably more than that. Well, he confirmed it. I discussed this with him for a while and basically asking him a few questions I KNOW he didn't think of because of his ADHD (diagnosed and unmedicated). For instance, do you realize that even though your best friend is supposedly okay with this, your relationship is forever changed - no more trips with him (because he will not want to be with his ex-wife), no more confiding in him about your girl trouble (because it will be his ex-wife) and so on. Do you realize that when a breakup with this woman occurs that she lives across the street and now you will have forever hurt your relationship with your best friend and you will have an ex living across the street? Do you realize that you know the "real" her if you think back to her actions (that you didn't like) over the last 20 years ? Do you realize that you are messing with your relationship that you've always had with her adult son? Basically his answers were - its hard to see it that way. This is classic rebound stuff (for both of them) as he really didn't care for this woman as a person before. He told me she new he was meeting with me and said "well just tell me if you are going to start dating her again". I was like, wow - doesn't that tell you something? If I were in her shoes and I really cared for you, i'd be fighting for you, not giving some stock want to be heard answer. I know this is all kind of off-kilter, but to bring it back around.... Is this classic ADHD inability to see an impending outcome from current choices/actions? Now and Not Now timing?
I'm still really crazy about his man and he knows it, but he also saw how well I was doing, taking care of myself, getting new hobbies. Somebody told me something at work yesterday - they said...Kit - put away your cape. I know they are right, but i am secretly hopeful that I really upset his apple cart.