I just don't know anymore. In some ways I wish he did have ADHD as that would explain the behavior. He told me he was diagnosed with this when he was a kid, but then he also thinks that the government did secret experiments on him when he was in elementary school as well.
- He's been unemployed for most of the 23 years that we've been together. He has a job interview for a dream job next month; who knows what will happen. Usually he quits or gets fired within a few months.
- Used to have rage fits for about the first 15 years we were married and broke most everything in our house.
- Has said unforgiveable things to our oldest child.
- Constantly fixated on government conspiracies, other people out to get him, and his own health. Right now he thinks he has MS. Unfortunately he has been off and on insurances for so many years due to his career history that he doesn't have a steady medical history. He has diabetes and high blood pressure and does the bare minimum to take care of himself. He blames his entire lack of success in life on other people and how we're not clued into his genius.
- Makes big plans weekly and never follows up.
- No clue about money. He's 45. Gets angry at me if I ask him to stop spending money on his hobbies.
- Starts projects and never finishes them. He told me four years ago when he lost his last job that he would be cleaning out the storage full of his junk. There has been zero progress.
There's more, much more. He's got good stuff too:
- Loves his kids.
- Does household chores - dishes, laundry, litter box.
- Takes the kids to their stuff (we trade off on this).
- Funny, fun personality.
- Treats me nicely most of the time.
I'm just kind of writing things down to write them. I don't know what I can do anymore to help him. Every job he's gotten, I've found for him. He can't do anything on his own - constantly comes up with business ideas but as far as executing them forget about it. He has grandiose plans CONSTANTLY that are just ridiculous but he gets angry if I don't 100% support him.
I guess the point of all this is that I'm feeling really hopeless in the face of all his "Stuff". I feel like he will always be a burden for me to bear. I was able to get him on health insurance finally, so I'm hoping that maybe he can start getting some help in the form of meds.
Divorce is something I think about constantly, but I don't feel like that's an option. I guess I'm just tired of being the caregiver to three kids and an adult.