ADHD Reading

I finally read the ADHD book with my spouse. Well we listened to the book on tape.

I was amazed at how much we matched the book. And of course with knowledge of ADHD comes more anxiety. I honestly don't know if I can spend the rest of my life dealing with my husbands diagnosis. We've both been working from home since Covid and I've noticed he breaks down several times a day! He's exhausting! He can't take any criticism and I feel like all I do is criticize! I also realized that I have been enabling him for almost two decades. We have a business together and I've run things - because he cannot focus. He's also had other medical issues - and I've been the one to hold our lives together. True to the ADHD diagnosis - he's easy going and receives the praise for our work -  I'm often misunderstood and bearing the burden of holding it together.

Reading the book makes me realize how much I've cheated myself over the years - thinking I had to help him - feeling obligated to him. I'm old before my time - my hair is graying early - I've gained weight and I've got back issues. I can't believe how much stress I've been under! I'm worried about my own health! I feel like I can run a business without him - for all that he's contributed!! And yet, I feel like a member of an ADHD cult. Seriously - who am I without the chaos? I am afraid of starting over - of being alone - of years of therapy....