ADHD related or just otherwise frustrating behavior?

My husband's default excuse or argument is always that he "forgot." 

It is always he couldn't do the dishes because he always forgets. He didn't do laundry because he forgot. He didn't call the school to let them know one of the kids was home sick because he forgot. he wasn't ready on time to go because he forgot. 

Which... A. I could see being a struggle, sure, but if I bring up the fact there's not any additional ways he tries to actively remember anything it becomes a bigger argument. For example if I ask about leaving visual notes, setting an alarm, looking into medication... "He doesn't need extra reminders." 

and B. This excuse is solely for me and the kids. He can remember all of his appointments and make it on time. He remembers to call and cancel or update things for himself. He remembers he's going to his friend's, what parts he needs to buy for a go cart needing fixed. Which makes me feel like it's more on purpose and/or maybe he just remembers what's important which is anything but his family. 

And when we were dating his house was picked up. He cooked cleaned all of it just fine. So it feels a lot of the time like it's just he doesn't do anything he knows someone is there to catch the fall for and take care of. 

im just to the point of hopeless.