I don't expect my views to be well received. However, I feel compelled to let you know:
- We ADHD spouses are not all bad. In fact, those of us who are treated tend to be very caring and attentive spouses.
- We aren't perfect. But neither are you. Let's spend our energy focusing on improving our marriages. Venting on these forums is good as long as the feedback one receives can be constructively applied towards improving one's marriage.
- If our imperfections are too much to handle, or if we're not meeting your expectations, refusing treatment/counseling, not employing the lessons we've learned in therapy or if you simply feel "done," is separation/divorce not at least up for consideration?
- Even if children are involved, sometimes divorce isn't horrible. As a child of divorce, I truly enjoyed my parents more following their separation than when they were married.
While ADHD can cause problems in marriage, it's not always THE problem. And if it truly is THE problem, it is not without a solution.