ADHD Therapist Best Practices

My ADHD husband and I have begun to see therapist who specializes in ADHD adults.  Prior to our first session, she had us each fill out one of the evaluation forms/tools that "test" for ADHD, my husbanding answering for himself and I answering from the perspective of a spouse.  My answers indicated my husband has ADHD; my husband's answers revealed no definite sign of ADHD.  The therapist told us during our first session that she could not make a definite diagnosis because the results did not jive.  She suggested that if we wanted to work on our relationship, she would be happy to do so with us.  We have now seen her four times.   She has not mentioned ADHD once.  I have shared a few examples of how I believe ADHD has harmed our marriage during the sessions,  My husband is in denial about the impact that ADHD has had our relationship.  I am wondering if the therapist avoids broaching the topic of ADHD because she observes this denial and does not feel it would do any good at this point.  What concerns me is that everything I have read about treating ADHD calls for a combination of medication and therapy and/or couples counseling.  I'm skeptical about us making any meaningful progress if the ADHD is not identified and treated.  I would appreciate hearing from those who have done couples therapy with an ADHD specialist.  Have you had a similar experience?