ADHD wife done with husband's lack of understanding

I am a 26 year old active duty,wife, and mother with ADHD. We have been married two years, and I have been actively seeking therapy and making tremendous progress. Unfortunately, my husband has no real "desire" to learn about this disorders symptoms. He says that he understands, but that is a crock of sh!t. He intentionaly plays with my compulsive nature and uses it against me later. I am frequently verbally abused and he even cheated on me. I have been trying so hard to "understand" his needs as a man, but I do not get the same thing in return. After fights, he leaves knowing that drives me absolutely insane! (I need to resolve the issue) I am so sick of him telling me how emotionally unstable I am because when I get that stressed out/ innate rage I have to abruptly leave the room to maintain composure; or else I will go on a crazed tyrant. He sees this as me being weak, but only if he knew the capabilities of an ADHD in the peak of rage. ( you know what I I guess I want to know if there are any other ADHD/ADD spouses out the experiencing the same problem, and how are you handling it? For the non ADHD/ADD spouses reading this, feel free to tell your side.