I'm an ADHD woman with PTSD. My husband and I recently learned of his autism after a consistent trend in which we fight over his lack of sensitivity for my sons emotional state. My son is from a prior relationship. My husband has 2 children from his prior marriage as well but he doesn't have custody. I've been searching for audiobooks and guides to help me learn how to be happily* married to him but I can't find anything from the neurodivergent perspective and neurotypical just doesn't feel as helpful. Does anyone have experience with this that resulted in success and long term happiness? I feel like I'm drowning and I'm worried for the emotional well-being of myself and my son. I also want future children but I'm honestly scared to have any with my husband. He doesn't think about the emotional impact his actions will have on my son. Recently we learned that my son started talking to people he met on Fortnite. My son is 7 so this is an obvious safety risk. My son has developed a strong attachment to his new stranger-friends which has made it a sensitive situation as we have to protect his safety and his emotional well-being. We agreed to find a way to taper his access so the disconnect is more gentle and feels less like a punishment. We told him last night he can still play the game with his new friends but he can't use the headset to talk to anyone. He can only play the game with them. Well my husband then went and deleted his entire friend list last night which means he can't play with them because he can't find them. No taper, just balls to the wall contact cut. My son cried when we told him he couldn't talk to them, he's going to be devastated when he learns what my husband did and realizes he can no longer play with them at all. He called it ripping the bandaid off but I see it as him punishing a child who did nothing wrong when there is an obviously more gentle solution.
help? This isn't the first time we've dealt with him doing stuff like this and I am at a loss.