It has been a very long time since I have posted. I keep making progress, but honestly, it is not nearly enough yet. My ADHD is quite severe. To give you the background, I have been gluten free for 5 years, take all the vitamins recommended for my ADHD, I exercise regularly, eat cleanly (no refined sugar, but plenty of veggies and protein), have figured out how to sleep better, have been meditating daily for 2.5 months, am quite organized at work. I take meds 3 times a day. I use Google Calendar. What I have accomplished above is a damn miracle. I know it. However, I am still struggling at home, and especially in my marriage, and I really need some sage advice.
My husband truly believes that if I cared about him, I could magically pull my shit together at home. Why wouldn't he? I will be running marathon number 2 soon, and I somehow am able to focus on this. I can do almost anything that interests me as interest produces dopamine. Like any person with ADHD, I find domestic responsibilities to be particularly challenging as they are endless, boring (this is an embarrassing truth as an ADHD woman), my schedule is packed with kid sports, and I still can't priotize at home. Unfolded laundry gives me anxiety, and I get overwhelmed and want to walk away. Substitute any boring task and I feel the same way, same reaction. My desk is immaculate at work and a hot mess at home. My husband feels like he has to manage me, constantly asking if I think other husbands do what he does. He reminds me, nags me, gets mad, we have one-sided discussions where he lectures me. The kids are affected by our fighting, too, and it makes all of us sad. We all love each other, but this is not good for anyone. I fear for the example we are setting. A housekeeper is out of the question. My husband helps, and I delegate to my kids when possible. My questions:
1.How can I make tasks more interesting so I actually follow through?
2. How do I prioritize tasks at home?
3. How do I avoid distractions?
4. How can I make my husband feel heard?
5. How can I avoid making the same mistakes on loop?
If it were that easy, I would have solved this years ago. I really want to change, and I have a solid track record of being able to tackle difficult things. I just have not see much success at home. My kids know they are loved, and I am a good Mom, but need to bring harmony and order to our home.
Thank you so much for your kind help, everyone! I really, really need it.