I figured you would be the perfect person to ask for advice. I've been married to my ADHD husband for 2 years and dated for 3. He also suffers from depression and anxiety. The years together consisted of a lack of compassion, communication, and self control. I feel like its been a good amount of mental and emotional abuse but he will instead say its normal and that I'm weak...so with that said, I tend to doubt myself and my decisions.
My question is, am I wrong not to have faith in him that he will change? Am I wrong that I want someone to truly love me and be nice to me? I understand I married him knowing he had ADHD BUT what bothers me is that he takes everything out on me. I feel like you can be depressed or angry...even crazy but you don't have to hurt someone you love. He's very disrespectful towards me and its been abusive. I've stuck by his side thru all the craziness. I have a big decision to make on whether I will stay in this marriage but honestly I don't want to waste any more time. I feel like I will never forgive myself for giving him another chance and have him treat me the way he did. I have no kids yet so that's why I feel like I should walk away. This is my second divorce...I'm 32...I tend to give people chances that don't deserve chances. So I sit here, thinking love would conquer all and I could make him a better person. I've learned that all the love and affection I tried to give(that was constantly rejected) won't help him. I'm worried that I will be stigmatized because this is a second marriage. I guess I'm scared of being judged. Also, did I do enough to help him? I would by books and write him emails of things to read on the internet about his condition. I even found his doctor. There is only so much I can do.
It was his idea to move out of the house. He pretty much abandoned me. Initially he wanted to move out because he hated me, hated marriage and I made his life miserable (as an FYI, he was depressed, anxious and angry when I met him...I figured one day he may turn on me like he did with everyone else in his life and my time has come). My husband forgets things easily and is so convinced he used to be happy. So now he moved out but things have changed and now he tells me he moved out to better himself and that he didn't mean all those things. I can't handle the rollercoaster and iI feel like there is only so much I can handle.
I just don't want to make another mistake. I need guidance and I really did love him and do love him. I just don't want someone being mean to me anymore when I deserve love and respect. My problem right now is that when I think about giving him a chance, he snaps on me. He still can't control his anger nor will he let me speak. With that said, he will mimic me and put me down.
I probably answered my own question but advice from others would be helpful. It's tough going thru this alone. Right now I'm confused, sad, weak and I just want to live a happy, healthy life. He says I'm giving up on him and never loved him but when do I love myself?