There is some fear in leaving my ADHD husband. He seems to live in the present with no regrets, no worries for the future, he lies to cover up things or to keep me uninformed of his activities/non-activity, and he has a distorted vision of what he does and what he says. Things don't make sense. Sometimes even within one sentence he contradicts himself and sees no wrong in what he says. Now I realize I have been manipulated from the very beginning but I always WANTED to believe him and believe in him. He on the other hand is not as invested in relating or taking responsibility for any failure. I can't put words to my fear. He sabotages me all the time like a game. He has all sorts of old un-paid bills for his business. He did not pay the telephone bill for his business for so long they stopped service and he lied about that and now says it is no big deal - he will make a deal with thek telephone bill collector. Am I supposed to go over his business accounting for him so that I do not find myself bankrupt? I am not afraid of living on my own or doing the work but I AM afraid of the LEAVING. Is there a reason anyone might guess why after 35 years of putting up with disappointment and betrayal, I am afraid to leave? There seems to be some psychological hold he has on me. When I think of leaving, I get sick to my stomach. When I think of staying I get sick to my stomach. What is going on? I want this to be over so bad. I need help to leave.