I would like to hear from anyone who's adhd partner has drinking issues. Either drinking too much, too often, or who seems to totally change into someone/something else when they drink. I am 38, and this morning I came to the conclusion that I have to get rid of alcohol from my life entirely. I've been told by family, friends, and girlfriends that when I drink it's like I'm transformed into someone else; as though I am on the prowl for ANY reason to fight, and if there isn't one then I persist until I get one. It has also ruined me financially over the years. It has taken me so long to finally look this issue straight in the eyes, identify alcohol as a relationship/life destroyer and make the decision to eliminate it. The idea of going for help with it makes me feel so weak and insecure though; like I 'should' be able to just adjust myself inside so it doesn't affect me the way it does, and I 'should' be able to moderate it and govern myself responsibly when it's around... but I can't. I hurt myself, and everyone around me, and it makes every single aspect of my adhd spin even further out of control. I have never seen any good from alcohol, in anyone. Knowing all of this, why do I feel like I'm admitting that I'm a failure by going for help?

If you have stories/descriptions about how you've seen alcohol affect your partner, or if you have adhd and have similar observations, please elaborate on your experiences. I think that by reading other people's experiences, it will help to motivate and strengthen my resolve... this is going to be the most difficult and most important challenge of my life, and I am so afraid of failing at it.