Always Being Disappointed by ADD Spouse

It has become very obvious to me that my ADD spouse is always working or doing something else rather than be with me. Promises to do things together are often broken or delayed until it is too late. Careful scheduling, early planning and much discussion usually proves to be wasted efforts. Underlying passive agressive behavior exists as well. Trying to live with a spouse who is like this is often very disappointing. Marriage counseling has helped with awareness but scheduling convenient appointments, travel time (often 2 hours) and expense hamper progress. What to do in between appointments is always a mystery. As the non-ADD spouse, I always seem to be the one trying to make things better or at least be the one bringing up the subject. Trying to get cooperation is frustrating. My ADD husband often verbally agrees to wanting change but his opposite actions always reveal the truth. We have been married for over 40 years. Is anyone else experiencing this problem in their relationship? Do you have any observations, hints or comments?