Am I Rebellious?

Is it possible to be rebellious and not know it?

I am a recently diagnosed ADHD partner that has spent a lifetime effected by undiagnosed ADHD. The impact on my marriage and family has been devastating. Since my diagnosis in May, I have made life-altering improvements to myself. All this came about when my husband said that he wanted a divorce, back in May. Apparently, I have been living in a bubble ... alone in love and marriage. He has built up two decades of resentment, blame and anger towards me. One of the biggest problems that my husband of nearly 23 years has with me is that I won't admit that I am rebellious. He says our daughter has the same rebellious characteristic. I googled a variety of searches regarding "rebellious", and most everything that came up in the search was bible scripture regarding rebellious wives and rebellious teenagers. I am an extremely considerate and compassionate person. I just don't believe that I am wired to do things out of rebellion or with evil intent. This isn't just his problem, as his opinions of me hurt me deeply and has caused many arguments over the years, most recently, a couple of nights ago. He wants me to admit that I am rebellious ...

I've been working so hard to save my marriage ... it's been very, very painful and confusing for me. I've learned to accept blame where deserved, and I have learned that happiness and saving a relationship can be more important than being right, but I don't want to compromise my own integrity by admitting something that I don't believe about myself.

Any conversation and insight on rebellious behavior is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,


Well I don't know about your

Well I don't know about your specific situation, but my ADHD husband is rebellious. In fact, I think one of his secondary psychological disorders is Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Basically he doesn't take direction very well and he's always pushing against authority. I think that is why he did well as a cop--he was an authority figure. But within the very militaristic society of police work, he was constantly clashing with his superiors and being written up for tardiness. He eventually pissed off the wrong superior who went after him on a relatively thin charge and had him fired. Hubby fell apart after that because he loved his job. He's still trying to get back in after four years of being out.

Some people would also categorize a rebellious person as someone who either doesn't care about societal norms or questions authority. So being rebellious is not necessarily a bad thing...I think it's more on whether or not you act out on it. Have you ever asked your husband to give you examples of why he thinks you are rebellious?