I have been recovering from a bad sinus infection for quite some time. My wife just came down with one. She wanted to rest yesterday afternoon.
During that time, I worked on dinner--simmering corned beef and prepping roasted potatoes. I also did a ton of the backlog of dirty dishes.
Our 10 year old was watching tv. I went upstairs, and when I came down I found some ice cream out. I asked her if anyone said she could have ice cream and she acknowledged that she had not asked permission. I told her she should not have it before dinner and I put it back in the freezer.
While I continued to work on dinner, she came in and started frying eggs in a saucepan. Keep in mind that she is a very, very picky vegetarian, so her eating something else is normal. Then she wanted to melt cheese in a frying pan. I tried to tell her to melt the cheese on top of the eggs. Nope, she kept going ahead with the frying pan. Then she started stirring the cheese with a butter knife. I told her not to use metal on a nonstick pan. She briefly used a plastic ladle, but then went back to the knife. When she was done cooking, she took both hot pans into the dining room, set them down on the table, and walked away. I was busy cooking. I yelled at her that she should not put hot pans on the table. She resisted moving them, but finally came back. There was a bag under the frying pan, and that appears to have protected the table. But there is now a burned circle where she put the saucepan.
On the good side, you have a
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
On the good side, you have a 10-year-old child who is interested in and willing to cook. I think she just needs some ground rules, explained ahead of time: "Yes, you can make your own supper, and I appreciate you being willing to do so. But if something unsafe happens, you can't use the stove for X amount of time [or, you need to eat what I'm preparing]."
It's Normal
Submitted by skriti659 on
Try to handle things calmly. Maybe she was not in a good mood. It happens sometimes in families. Don't stress too much. But if it's happening for a long time then try to choose your own way.
Bowl of petunias, Mothers with adhd, and effects
Submitted by dedelight4 on
I too, am just getting over a sinus infection, and have felt miserable. Ugh! Nasty bug, hope you are feeling better soon. I'm so sorry to hear you have 3 in your household with ADHD. I honestly don't know how you hold up under this, except to say it speaks a lot to your fortitude and grit. I have almost totally succumbed at times to defeat from DH being in denial of his ADHD symptoms, but I'm still standing, even if it's wobbly at times.
I read several of your back posts and can empathize with you in so many ways. I also believe that when a wife/mother has ADHD, it is much more damaging to the children, because she's struggling with her own instabilities and is less capabile to teach children the necessary things they need. (Especially if she's in denial herself) This is what happened in my husbands case. His mother didn't teach him or his siblings any self awareness, empathy, self regulation, self control, awareness of others, and other things necessary to "get along" in society. They all were ADHD, had other psych problems, as well as addictions. Plus, she was a "blamer", and taught them to blame everyone else for their own unhappiness, like she did. (A toxic mess) This is SO difficult to learn once you're an adult, and impossible for an ADHD person without meds and behavioral therapy.
You're daughter not being aware of what a hot pan would do, seemingly not caring, and leaving things out is very typical of ADHD. Her mother should have already been teaching her about things like this, but I take it there's not much communication going on. And it is staggering for the Non-ADHD person to have to pick up the slack, and be a safety watchdog for all the hazards, as well as do a majority of the un-fun "grunt" work. It's physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. I've been there, and am learning other ways of handling this. But, it took an enormous toll on me, especially physically. I dislike a messy house, and have always worked hard to keep things in order. But, when you have a living "mess tornado" in the house also, the messiness never ends and never gets better. An ADHD child or adult does NOT learn by example. (Learned that today) They can watch you clean, be told how to clean, shown how, and still won't do it. Their executive functioning system doesn't work, and the thought process of "hearing" to "personal action" is not working. (Learned that today too) I know this, but it's still frustrating when your ADHD person chooses to stay in denial.
I did want to tell you about someone I found on YouTube who was incredibly insightful, and you might want to check him out. His name is Rick Green, and he has a book called "ADD and Loving It". He's very funny, and you will enjoy him, I think. He does talk more to ADHD people, but the information there is incredible. The ADD Research Center is another place for good information. I also found Dr. Thomas Brown on Youtube, and the CADDC in Canada has videos about this also. It's more current info, and it might help a little. It has for me anyway.
Again, just wanted to say Hi, and add my two cents, for whatever that's worth. Hoping you have a more peaceful day today, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.
Dede