The unclear communication with an ADHD DH is just unbelievable. In the past week--listen to some of the things that went on. DH started a new job literally on Monday. Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday he was in California for training and then back home to start working Thursday and Friday. On Thursday he left for his job after I had already left, so I was long gone before he left. On Thursday night I asked him what time he had to leave for work on Friday. He tells me same time as this morning. BUT I wasn't home when he left, so how would I know that. So I asked him what time that was since I wasn't home and he says about 20 minutes after you. WHY for the love of PETE can you not just say "I left at 7:30". How many questions does a normal person have to ask to get a straight answer?? Earlier the last week I was asking him about a check that he had coming from a side job he had done a few weeks ago. It was being mailed to a contractor who was the GC on the job. We REALLY need that money and I asked if I could go pick up the check from the contractor if it came while he was out of town. He says sure. BUT it turns out the contractor is over an hour away and I don't have that kind of time to drive 2+ hours after work. That took a few days to be revealed. A few days later it comes out that this contractor often comes into our actual neighborhood to work and could bring the check with him. AGAIN...why not offer that information up right away? Why do I have to fish? So bizarre. DH accuses me often of withholding information from him when in reality he just isn't retaining the things I tell him. Perhaps it's punishment???
Today we went with our two kids to a German Christmas Market in our town. DH and younger son stood in the loooong line for a hot pretzel while older son and I went to look at one thing. And despite virtually all the vendors having signs posted CASH ONLY, I didn't realize DH had none so when he got to the top of the line and I wasn't back yet he had to step out of the line because he had no cash. WHY wouldn't he ask me for some cash before waiting in that endless line for 15+ minutes??? And then we go into a big department store to look for some gloves for him and DS and we get in the door and all three of them--hubby and both kids just stand there looking at me. How the heck do I know where anything is? Can no one else take the initiative to ask someone where the gloves are? Even as I type these things they sound silly and petty but I am just so tired of being the only one to think more than one step ahead. And now DH is mad at me for calling his attention to this stuff. He told me I overreacted to a small thing. No kidding. How many times have any of us with ADHD spouses been in a position where we had to cajole/tease/beg/plead the ADHD person to please not be grumpy, please don't ruin the outing/day. This has happened so many times in my family I cannot even count and the one time I get aggravated because no one but me can a) think to have cash at a cash only place or b) ask for directions in a big store, I am accused of making a big deal out of nothing. And tonight he got in the shower and went to bed without a word. So now I am punished. Seriously--ADHD or a**hole?? You be the judge.