And once in a while, I get a really good laugh!!!

I was watching the movie 'Jerry McGuire' this evening.  A romance scene comes on the screen, my spouse slams down the footrest of the recliner, jumps out of the chair, and grumbles, "I'm going to bed."  

A few minutes later I hear the upstairs shower.

Uh Oh.  It dawned on me that I had taken down the shower curtain this afternoon and washed it, then forgot to put it in back up.

I ran upstairs and said through the closed bathroom door, "Hey, sorry, I forgot to get the shower curtain out of the wash machine."

So dear, dear ADHD spouse, grumbles, "It doesn't matter. . . . I'm running the water really slow. . . . . ."

LOL.  LOL.  LOL!!!!  I can't believe it.  I just really cannot believe it.  


ADD spouses really can say "It doesn't matter" easily.  It can be endearing and a relief to us. It is a bittersweet, ironic laugh.

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Egg Shell Dancing

lauren07 and jennalemon,

My family - excluding the spouse - loves the TV shows 'Everybody Loves Raymond' and 'Home Improvement.'  My spouse hates that these "A**holes" act worse than him and make millions of dollars - and their wives still love them.'  

He has recently demanded to me: "Do not ever say the name of (insert the name of the husband of any of my friends) in my presence again.  They are flamin' a**holes and treat their spouses like crap." For my own sanity, I try not to bring them up - but only because it causes a confrontation.  

He is constantly overlooking any of his own poor behavior - because someone else does something worse.  This comparison thing is driving me nuts. He calls it "The Litmus Test."  By comparison, he is so much better than so many other men.  There is no doubt he has good qualities.  There is no doubt he does things well.  But so far no counselor has been able to get him to stop the "dry drunk" behavior.  My spouse is a tea-totaler.  Never drank a day in his life.  Never took illegal drugs.  He is an all-around good-guy who thinks the world is giving him a raw deal.  

He sure is not working on the emotional/psychological portion of his life, refuses to go to church just to "sit in a pew and cry"  is so irritable, so easily annoyed, so quick to anger, and will defend and justify his behavior at the slightest questioning or provocation.  We are damned if we do and damned if we don't.  This is no way to live a happy life.



What a great guy

Again, everything you are saying about your dh is JUST like mine. Dh was fond of saying to me, "At least I don't hit you like some guys do to their wives." as though his lack of physical abuse was enough to win him husband of the year.  I should have said back to him, "At least I don't kill you like some women do to their husbands."   I am much better at comebacks now that I don't care so much anymore.

Dh used to use the term "loser" a lot.  Calling other husbands losers all the time.  Then he would say to me that I talk to him like he is a "loser" and did not treat him with respect.  As though my sensitivities would not allow me to insinuate that I treated him like a "loser".  He was right.  In my mind, I could not possibly be married to a loser so I worked and denied and had faith and thought positive thoughts so that I wouldn't be married to a loser (I rationalized).  I have to stop being afraid of words.  A husband who does not financially support his family (unless there is confirmed medical disability) is a loser.  Is ADD a confirmed medical disability?  Then, wouldn't he be eligible for disability payments because his disability is keeping him from supporting his family?  Would he be willing to apply for disability?  No, he would rather keep his cover and let his spouse take the stress and responsibility for him. Then, he does not have to think of himself as a loser.

I hate watching tv with my

I hate watching tv with my husband. He does compare himself and claims romantic scenes disgust him. The worst is that he can't follow what is going on. Well, 90% of his tv watching is about fast cars anyway. 

He compares himself to his friends too:/ Your last paragraph sounded a lot like mine. He thinks the world owes him. Has ftw (fk the world) engraved on his shoes. Uggh:/

I like your updated quote:)