Anger that makes your hands cold....

I am so angry right now and I am not an angry person. Just need to vent. Backstory: I left my ADHD husband due to temper in April. He didn't chase me, made me pay for it, didn't look for me just "woe is me, who did you tell" arrogance. Anyway, I came back and things have slowly been better with his temper although he is still neglectful and everything else that ADHD'ers do. I have grown and am dealing. 25th anniversary sucked but that was also payback for me leaving. Anyway, my sister had to kick her 18 yr old daughter out and has been a mess today. He has known her since she was 12 and its 25 yrs later. She is my best friend. My husband and I were having a nice day chatting on gmail and I simply asked him, as a human and comforter of all people in distress that he is as a charmer, party starter, motivational speaker to others except himself, if he has text my sister. My idea was to say "thinking of you" etc since she has been in pain and crying all night and day. HEr husband is kind of insensitive so I thought a nice text from her bro in law would be nice. Here is the convo. I am so hurt to the core. Funny how I thought things were better but he holds things in and waits to bring them up in an instance like this. This man is intelligent, has a high IQ, is a poet, comes to the aid of MANY damsels in distress, helps the widows and orphans EXCEPT when it is someone that has left him, hurt him just like he has written off all his BEST FRIENDS who supported my decision to leave. I am so disappointed since I am always hoping for him to do better, bending over backwards, compassionate, put myself in his shoes. Everyone says I am a saint and that he is obnoxious and too much yet I continue to try. I just can't stand arrogance. Any ideas, input, feedback, observations would help. 


Me: Have you text *** at all?
H: No. I figured I'm not qualified to speak on the subject of errant children or non responsive husbands. 
H: Sorry, you asked if I had texted ***.
Me: I did. I was not expecting that response.
H: Sorry, I wouldn't be able to provide any help and, as you know, I sometimes say the wrong thing in these kind of situations. So, best for me to stay out of it. I learned my lesson with your other sister and her kids.
Me:Never mind. I wasn't asking for you to lecture or give advice. 
H:I would not want to lecture or give advice. Hello?
Me: Yes?
H: I just thought I lost you. 


Shame that he took my chances at finding my soulmate. Thank you for reading this and letting me vent. Been a while since I was so upset and disappointed.