Forgive me if this has already been covered, I have read through the site, and haven't found anything that matches it. I am engaged to a man who was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. He was initially put on medication, but later taken off of it. (The reasons I've been told were that he didn't function like a normal child at all *more like a zombie*, and he gained a substantial amount of weight on the medication.)
He is a great person, and I have no doubt that he has a beautiful soul, and wonderful heart. The problem is that at times when we fight, he basically "loses it." Last night, he attempted to choke me. So bad to the point that I tore skin off of his arm trying to get him off of me. This is the worst it has ever been. Most of the time he will start to grab me, or attempt to be physical, but then lets go, and backs off. This time, he didn't stop. Later, after the storm, I discussed it with him, and told him that he couldn't do that to me. It was not acceptable.
His father abused his mother, and stepmother, and I asked him if he felt that he did these things because he had experienced them as a child, but he said that when he does it to me, it's almost like he blacks out. He reaches a point where he's so furious that he doesn't even know what he's doing until it's too late.
He believes it is because of his ADHD that he does this. I don't want to leave him, and he doesn't want to lose me either. But I can't live my life being scared of my fiance (and eventually Husband).
I told him I think he should speak to a professional and see what his options are, and possibly look into anger management. He doesn't want to resume medication, as he gained close to 100lbs last time, and doesn't want that to happen again.
My question, I guess, is, Does ADHD cause such tremendous anger like this? And would an ADHD medication help, or what should we look into? I truly intend to stand by him, and he is willing to get help, I just don't know where to even begin...