My husband was recently diagnosed with ADD and is on Adderall for his symptoms (his PCP just prescribed this to him after a 15 minute assessment by the way). The problem I am seeing is he is having angry outbursts towards me that scare me and I'm not sure what to do.
He thinks that taking his medication will just "fix" him, and has done nothing else to help himself with his problems. He has a full time job and is suppose to be going to school as well, but I found an email that he had been dropped, so he putting that off too I guess.
He is resistant to me helping, which is what caused the latest outburst.
I don't know what to do and quite frankly am just so tired of all this and feel like I'm raising another child most of the time.
Any advice would be welcome.
Marie
Marie, My son was tried
Submitted by mariah on
Marie,
My son was tried Adderall, Concerta, Strattera- all of these made him angry and depressed. He lashed out to the point of slamming me against a wall (he was only 8 yrs old!).
I didn't know enough to figure out it was the meds for a long time. As soon as I stopped them, the extreme anger stopped. Meds just did not work for him.
Dh is finally going to his physician in September to have his adhd assessed... I am concerned about the effect it may have on him, but at least now I know what to watch for. If the anger gets worse, I will throw those pills in the toilet!
Go back to the MD and have him try other meds. It takes time I have heard, to find the correct Medication-and then, there are types who do not do well with medication at all.
Good luck!
Meds that do not work
Submitted by Carmen on
Hi,
My husband is an ADDer and also a psychiatrist. We talk a lot about meds that work and that not work. He knows what works for him and he knows what does not work for him or others... (I think that I am lucky that he is a psychiatrist in this case, because he is very calm too and always willing to find new ways of help:))) Bear in mind that these ADD meds (strattera, concerta, etc.) are all stimulants! If someone with other symptoms than ADD take these meds (a bipolar for example), the effect will be the opposite: they will for sure be more aggressive. Sometimes kids or adults are diagnosed with ADD.. but they have something else... and the meds they take will never work, on the contrary!! Maybe you could both talk about changing the medication, he could ask his doctor for a new assessment. It is not easy sometimes to 'talk' with a husband who is not willing to cooperate, but you are not alone in this battle: remind him that BOTH of you are trying to fix the problem TOGETHER. I find out that TOGETHERNESS is the key for success!! All my best.
I'm not sure how to talk to
Submitted by dbledutchs on
I'm not sure how to talk to him about it, because I've told him I've done my own research and he thinks most of what I read is BS, and that he is controlling it. He thinks "sorry for my outburst" is enough and if I continue to say anything, he feels as though I just "won't let it go".
I think I've given up a little. I don't nag about things, either they get done or they don't. I haven't asked him about school or work or even if he is taking or not taking his medications. He missed his follow up appointment with the doctor (he's very unreliable in that respect) and I didn't bother making another appointment like I usually do..it's his battle. I can only control my reaction.
This is all just taking it's toll on me and no matter how much I try to help, I am not responsible for his actions. We have three kids together and 12 years until the youngest is 18, when that happens, I think I'm done.
I can see why ADHD marriages don't stay together, it's a battle never done and a war never won.
Marie
I do have a question, you say
Submitted by adhdgift on
I do have a question, you say that he has a full time job and is supposed to be going to school? Is this because he wants to change his current profession or is it because of financial stipulations? The reason I ask this is because he may be SUPER stressed if he is doing both with ADHD. I can tell you I am an ADHD husband on adderall and a full time special needs teacher...and my one job alone puts me in s stressed state a lot and I take it out on my dear wife which I hate about myself. I can tell you the meds amplify the anxiety and irritation big time and when it wears off I am a nightmare to be around if I don't have an anti anxiety med to counter it. I think you both as a family may need to be realistic about your dear husbands work/stress load and medication choice. If you can't do that then maybe 12 years might be too long...for your sake and his both.