Any techniques that work when dealing with ADHD husband (welcome both ADHD and non-ADHD answers)

Many non-adhd spouses are sad, angry, frustrated.  I know I'm depressed and ADHD is ruining my marriage and my overall wellbeing.  What techniques, actions, strategies can you offer (whether your non-ADHD or ADHD) in dealing with an ADHD spouse?    Are there skills I can learn to help me manage my relationship, my husband, my own emotions/reactions towards my ADHD husband.  I think hearing both sides are important...I want to build a more positive, healthier, stable life and solid partnership without being a doormat?  It's difficult to explain but things only work when I make myself vulnerable.  If I can use 1 word to define my relationship I would use "hurt".  I just don't know how much more I can handle and I want to make sure I'm giving 100%.