My husband's ADD treatment is continuing to go well and we seem to be at a point where it is getting easy to see progress.
For example, it is tax season and we are self-employed and there have been arguments over Eric not getting me the paperwork that I need to organize the blue million forms/invoices/receipts that I need to get our taxes done promptly. Each year we get a little better, and while I was still irritated at how quickly he ditched his plan to 'get you everything immediately at the end of each quarter so that I don't have a bunch to do at once and I don't get you behind'--yeah never did it once, but this year has been the best ever in terms of gathering what is needed. We have to wait on 1099s, so we can never organize anything till Feb 1 anyway (and one of our bosses is definitely ADD himself and we have had to wait all the way till MARCH for his 1099 before!! But Eric has all his stuff to me before the 1099s stopped coming in, so really he never held me up at all....SUCCESS!!!
So anyway I think we are ready to tackle some of the less serious but still irritating things that come up. For example, in going through our paperwork I realized that my husband, who already buys himself WAY too much fast food while out working--way too much budget wise and also more importantly health-wise--managed to spend an extra $100 over what he spent last year on fast food. Naturally $100 over the course of the year is not gonna make or break our budget, but since he was already eating too much of the crap, we need something to keep him on target as far as budget/health goals. He seems to REALLY struggle to keep a budget goal in mind enough for it to over rule his immediate desire.....especially for something like fast food, which he considers a TREAT for working hard....if it isn't actively discussed once a week.
Now I'm gonna be honest and say that quite frankly I feel I have MUCH better things to do with my time and life than sit down with hubby and discuss why he needs to not eat fast food all week. And yes we do the whole having healthy snacks in the house he could take instead (does sometimes) and making extra at meal time so that he can take actual food (does sometimes), but I think the problem is basically all TREAT FOCUSED in his mind. He feels like he is working when he may not want to be and thus he deserves a treat for doing so.
He has the problem with Adderall killing his appetite, so sometimes I feel like he only eats a small amount of nutritious food on a big work day, but he seems to have a limitless appetite for McDonalds and cokes.....neither good for nutrition nor for ADD as far as the caffeine.
BUT...he is an adult. And he has the right to decide what to eat if he wants to......the problem is that it doesn't seem to fit with his LONG TERM health plans.....the ratio of his good/bad cholesterol is a little too close together though both levels are good. He says he wants to exercise more together and get more fit, but then he is out at work and all his intentions go out the window cause he sees those darn Golden Arches....or Jack in the Box....or god forbid Sonic--he goes THERE for breakfast a couple times a month!!
I have been reading quite a bit about ADD for children because I am suspicious about my nephew....poor boy has something as he is inattentive as can be and his genetics are ROUGH on SIL's side........and I keep reading and reading about how everything should be postive and rewards-related. Now I am NOT calling my adult husband a child nor do I want to treat him as such, but we have done other reward-based systems short term.......like a couple times a year we compete with my mom, and now my sister too, with points we allow for house cleaning and he loves racking up those points!
Also a few years ago when we were pretty new to coaching, we were trying to establish the habit of using his personal calendar and checking it every day. I was going to buy him a large flat screen monitor that he was jonesing to have for our anniversary in October anyway, but I offered to let him get it up to 4 months early as soon as he could check his calendar for 30 days in a row....if he missed a day, he'd have to start over. He did it all in one shot!! Then the habit immediately started falling off once he had his monitor :(
All this to say that rewards seem to work well.....and it doesn't seem to matter so much if it is points for cleaning or credit days toward a new monitor. I wouldn't be interested in making a big financial commitment to anything....I mean you can only own so many computer monitors...but I think some how using a reward system to increase his blow money would be something he'd love........but I don't want to contribute to anything that involves him buying more cokes and fast food (which a lot of his current blow money goes toward once I tell him he's used his budget out of our joint funds).
Suggestions anyone?? Successes??