Apparently, it is my problem...

I had suspected my DH had ADHD for months.  We were seeing a therapist for one of our children for another reason and so was able to discuss one-on-one with him.  He agreed to do the eval on my DH and ended up diagnosing DH with ADHD - PI.  However, he said DH only needs meds - no therapy.  WHAT!?!?!?  The shocker was when he told me that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits and I need months of therapy.  

Of course, when I read what the traits are, I think anyone living with a spouse with unmanaged ADHD would exhibit these traits/thoughts:

  • I am fully responsible for myself and others
  • I have to depend on myself to see that things get done.
  • Others tend to be too casual, often irresponsible, self-indulgent or incompetent.
  • I need order, systems, and rules in order to get the job done properly.
  • If I don't have systems, everything will fall apart.
  • Details are extremely important.

We have six kids whom he home-schools while I work a full-time job outside the home.  If I didn't do all of the above things, how much more chaotic would my and my children's lives be?  Anyone else run into this from a therapist?  I would switch therapists in a heartbeat, but I know DH will never cross the threshold of another one.  The only reason he was going to this one was because of the issues with our child.