Sooooo all the tests came back fine. No cancer (or so they think), but they also cant find out what is screwing with his immune system and making him so sick all the time. Two separate ear infections, bronchitis and a sinus infection all in the last month and a half? Something has to be going on, in the six years we have been together he has been sick two times total before this! I just about begged them to redo the blood sugar test (diabetes runs heavily in his family) and to test his vitamin/mineral levels in his blood and got told nope it cant be any of that. REALLY????? So lets just keep him sick and tired (in the past six months he has went from sleeping 7-8 hours a night to sleeping 12+) all the time so he an ass to live with. And of course considering one doctor said there is nothing wrong he wont even THINK about getting a second opinion!!
The last two days have been hell!! ADHD is back in full force...my DH been avoiding me like the plague and when I asked him what was wrong he told me that I am trying to change him. So he was going to ignore me and anything I said and doing whatever the hell he wanted anyway, because he didn't care what I thought. When I asked him to explain what I had done to make him feel that way, he told me that he "shouldn't have to explain anything I should already know". Cause we all know I'm both psychic and can read minds!! For the record I haven't even asked him to do anything let alone told him what to do in over a month! Back to sitting in my office crying...this whole thing SUCKS! I think it sucks more because I thought we were finally in a good place and making progress and come to find out hes just been giving me a line of bs, telling me what I want to hear (his words not mine). I am trying soooo hard to let God handle this, but I'm failing miserably....
If I was a betting person I would bet my DH is getting ready to leave again and pushing me away so its easier for him. He has quit his internship, stopped wearing his wedding ring again, wants to go down to his moms alone at the end of the month, talking to his ex from 10 years ago (she needs a knight in shining armor and a daddy for her kids), he has pretty much cut ties with all his friends here (picking dumb fights with them and then deciding he doesn't need them anymore) and he told me that he looked into transferring back to his previous college (down by his mom) because the one up here is too hard. He got a 98% instead of a 100% on a paper and now he is pissed and wants to drop the class because "the teacher doesn't know what shes doing". If it does happen, I know I can make it on my own even though I don't want to. I have a good job now and I can pay the bills. But this time, as much as I love him and seriously want my marriage to work and be happy, if he leaves I don't think I will be able to take him back. I know that sounds horrible, but I need him to be 100% committed to me and his family! I need someone that can be open and honest and be my best friend. Most of all I need to come first (after his daughters of course) before ex's and friends that have gotten themselves into situations that are their own fault. If your friends problems are so bad that the county, state and their own family wont help them then they have burned too many bridges and no one is to blame but them! I'm not perfect, far from it actually, but I have gotten MYSELF out of every bad situation I have put myself in.
I know this is really long...thanks for letting me vent. You all are awesome! ~~HUGS!~~