Assuming, putting words in people's mouths, forgetting, not keeping agreements


 I am SO TIRED OF: My ADHD spouse puts words in my mouth due to his faulty assumptions (of which he is KING), and his poor memory. Constantly saying I said stuff I never said, or saying I said something different than I said because he assumed an extra/wrong meaning from my actual words. I remember actual words and it is this insane-making, tower of Babel experience to live with someone constantly creating insanity by attacking me and telling me I said things I NEVER SAID!! Anyone else struggle with this with their ADHD spouse? It gets on my nerves when its something that really screws the day/life up for everyone and he says I said to put it here, or go there, or whatever when I KNOW, with my VERY CLEAR INTACT memory and a FULLY HEALTHY FUNCTIONING BRAIN and one that remembers details and can remember actual WORDS SAID, not just assumed concepts like he seems to do, what I DID or DID NOT say. This one I'm not sure I can continue to live with. The constant barrage on what I communicated to an insane making person constantly twisting, assuming, and misunderstanding, then remembering poorly, then blaming ME and putting words in to my mouth. Melissa, and anyone else, how do you deal with THAT?!

This ties in with the issue that he is so NOT a man of his word. We can discuss and agree till we're blue in the face (I "over-discuss" with him because I have learned how forgetful he is.) We can agree very firmly, with me making sure to have an extremely thorough conversation with him only to have him COMPLETELY disregard the agreement. This has brought extreme damage and a sense that I cannot trust him, rely on him, or even count on him to remember the conversation we had the day before at all!!

We're raising kids here, too. How can I deal with this.