Suggestions wanted on a very odd outcome of a highly anticipated dinner date

Let me have some input please.  We have been working with surviving the chaos caused by my spouse's ADHD traits for a long while, so I will admit it is difficult for me to get out of the mothering mode into the partnership mode.  Facts from my paradigm:

Spouse is leaving for out of town for 4 days, 3 nights.

Asks if I want to go out for dinner, specifically mentioning 'to spent time with me' before he left.

I responded yes.  I am going out shopping in the AM with my friends, not sure what time I'll be home, but it will be 2-3ish. 

No specific leaving time was set for the dinner date - which is best as time management is not his strong point.

I got home at 3.

5pm. - turned on TV to  pass the time while I waited for him to get home.

6 pm  - I guess he is going to be late as usual.

7pm - I am thinking this is a little late to be going out for dinner.  Not a new experience for him to get wrapped up in work, or be late.  After 20+ years of marriage it is a pattern. 

I hear a vehicle coming up the driveway.  It was not my spouse, but my son -mid-twenties -  who works with my spouse.  I asked if he had been working with his Dad.  No.  He was with his friends all day. I told him I was waiting for Dad to go out to dinner. He texts his Dad - Aren't you supposed to be taking mom out to dinner?

I get a call from my spouse.  He is livid.  He is angry.  He is mad as a hornet.

Somehow, I missed my spouse ask me to text him when I got home.  It was not one of those situations where, when he mentioned it, I realized I had forgotten.  I do not recall him mentioning it - at all.  By 3 pm, he decided I was being mean and punishing him by choosing to stay out with my friends over going to dinner with him.  Rejecting him. He worked himself into a horrible angry depression.  

It was my fault for not calling him.  It was moot point that I did not hear his request for a text when I got home. 

For me, I really thought nothing of his being late - as it is normal.  He is known not to show up - to be late - to forget - doesn't understand how his family would get upset that he had to finish a job.   

There was no understanding from him that it was poor communication that should get the blame.

Nope.  I am punishing him.  Sigh.  He cried.  He cried the next morning.  He left for his trip carrying with him his opinion I rejected him and I am punishing him.  Sigh. sigh. sigh.  Also tossed at me a bit of a guilt-inducing slam, "Don't you realize how much temptation there is for men at these conventions?"

I do not feel guilty.  I feel sad.