"Avoidance is an unhealthy practice and when we have the courage to face something terrible that courage is rewarded with the gift of a deeper connection to our inner wisdom."
The most unattractive trait of my spouse is that of avoidance. Everything is kept at a superficial level and peppered with jokes and teasing - walking away in the face of meaningful communication. I have not had the tenacity to keep fighting that invisible wall that keeps us separate. When there is no active fighting, he seems to think that things are fine. He just wants me to leave him alone while he anesthetizes himself with solitary diversions. I feel odd that we are living this way and I hunger for partnership and companionship.
Today I am going to visit an old friend who is at the latter stages of ALS. The quote above is from writings of her husband, observing the visits that she has been inviting in the midst of her disabling disease. I am reminded that real love is the willingness and ability and courage to share the parts of ourselves that are the difficult and joyous - the stuff of life and in the end, decline and death. Real love is courage to walk through all that life stuff together, communicating with the ability to see and connect with love and care.
I just had to share my thoughts about this somewhere and this is one place I feel comfortable to do that. You are like my friends. I know after my visit with my friend today I will be inspired to share my real self even more and lessen my own avoidance and diversions, enriching my life and relationships.