Be truthful to yourself

Cheetarah: You asked me if it is hopeless. Nothing is hopeless if you are willing to do everything in your power to understand and treat your ADD or ADHD. There are many counselors available who are trained to work with you, seek them out.  Your life lies in your hands - no one else is responsible for your happiness. If you truly want to have successful relationships you WILL find a way. The first step is acknowledging that you have this affliction (which you already have)and then be patient with yourself because you didn't get this way over night. If you are with someone now -  be right up front with her. Tell her what is going on - express to her that you are truly working hard to make this relationship work and then show her. You deserve to feel love and be loved.  My husband didn't even get to step one and wasn't interested so I had nothing to work with. You sound as though you really want to try and get this under control and YOU CAN, but know this - it will be constant work on your part. But anything that is worth having is worth working for. As I mentioned before I have a son with OCD and Tourette's and it took an enormous amount of patience to raise him but he was and is worth every moment of patience. He is an amazing individual as I am sure you are as well. Do not give up Cheetarah - just work hard. Good Luck to you.

Hi Reecer, sorry I didn't see

Hi Reecer, sorry I didn't see your post before and thanks for the encouragement. It's a shame your husband didn't see sense and realise you and your son are worth taking the first step for and getting treatment.  I hope you go from strength to strength in your new life now. 

I'm not planning on giving up, I just sometimes wonder if I'll ever make it! I'm having to make improvements slowly but surely though- spurred on by the fact that my friend is the most kind, considerate person I've ever known who puts a particularly high value on remembering birthdays, little gestures, manners and punctuality. It's the way he shows he cares, he's like my role model.

He knows about my condition- from knowing me for six years, but I know that's not the same as living with adhd every day as you have to. I want to show him I'm doing everything I can to overcome it. Oh and he also has OCD, so you can imagine he needs alot of order and things to be done thoroughly in order to feel secure. Here in the UK we can actually get free counselling and subsidised medication for which I'm thankful- it's all I can afford right now. There's a very big 'ADHD is caused by bad parenting' and 'the drugs are evil' culture here though, so doctors like to try and refuse treatment and you have to keep pushing for help which is what I'm doing, going back to a different doctor again on Tuesday. It's easy to give up though, I'm very good at doing that and when I’m tempted I look on here for inspiration to keep going.