becoming numb

I've been married to my husband for 17 years. I realized some time after our youngest was diagnosed with adhd that my husband my have it too. So after much research he agreed that it was possible and got the official diagnosis. This was about 5 years ago or so, when he was in his late 40's. I lose track anymore. I am 9 years younger. At first, things went well. We read and talked and I did whatever I could to help him. At the same time, things slowly started to deteriorate. He has become so closed off from me. By that I mean, when I walk into the room, he doesn't see me. When I say something to him, he doesn't hear me. Literally. I have to yell to get his attention, repeat myself, repeat myself again, then explain what I am talking about. If we are watching the same program together and I comment on it, well, see above again. He works out of town during the week but will go days without calling me, and when he does, he calls me late at night, then is yawning so much he can't hear me. All conversations are one-sided. I talk. The only response he can give me is "um-hmm" or "huh". If I press for more, he agrees with me. With EVERYTHING I say. He will never disagree, but on the rare occasion he does, if I ask why, as in, tell me your side, he gets defensive, short and raises his voice. When I say I was only asking he denies he did any of it. He walks out or the room while I'm talking. If I say that he was rude, he says he thought I was done talking. All he seems to care about is watching TV, eating, and non-stop eating. And let's not forget about sleeping. He can sleep until 10 in the morning, get up and be taking the first of about 4 naps a day on the weekend within the hour. In between those naps he is watching TV. I do 100% of the household chores. I ask for help and I am told, okay, I will, but it never gets done unless I throw a fit or start doing it myself. Then he jumps up saying he was going to do it for me. I also work full-time, take care of all the finances, and have Fibromyalgia. Oh, and don't forget about the youngest child who is 15. He is not on any medication and is doing well in school, lots of friends, and frankly is just doing better than his father. My husband is on medication but IF he remembers to take it, he is most definitely not on the right one, or dosage. I have never been to an appointment with him because he A. Forgets to tell me about it and B. Thinks they work fine. Mind you, we have had many discussions where I say how I feel ignored and unloved, but every time he acts surprised, like he is hearing it for the first time. He never notices anything wrong. When I ask for explanations, all I ever get is "I don't know". He cannot give me a valid answer for anything. Within half an hour, he has forgotten the entire conversation. He has to be told to go to bed or he will stay up eating and watching TV all night, and I have to wake him in the morning because he will hit the snooze button until god knows how long. He has a long history of not telling me things because "it's not a big deal", when actually it is. I have been made an ass many times not knowing things. Nothing is important to him. He will go buy himself personal things he needs, and food he wants but will never ask if there is anything I need, or things needed for the house. I don't like to tell him to pick anything up anyway because he will buy 3. He is also a hoarder, sloppy, and let's not get started on the tools. However, he has plenty to say to the dogs. Sex no longer exists. The house needs many repairs and has dozens of unfinished projects. He is fully capable of doing these things. One of the things that attracted me to him was his ability to fix anything. So here I am, getting numb and thinking, it just isn't worth the trouble anymore. I'm so tired, ther's about 1 or 2 days a week where I just physically collapse and can't do anything.